The Truth hurts

We've all done it. We've all seen it. And we've all judged her, even though we are her (or him).

Our dang social media, internet, texting, snapchatting...whatever your vice is, you've probably done it. Totally and completely zoned out and sucked in to whatever is oh so interesting on the web. The cutest snapchat pictures. An Instagram update you can't miss. Some Facebook post that you need to like, because really, it's the best read you've had all day! Even a quick thumbs up on a photo or status update...we cannot get it out of our lives...unless of course you don't have a phone, but who is that person even?!

Now let's add a kid. You're at the store or the park. You here the DING you know means there is a new photo or update and your curiosity gets the best of you... you check it...meanwhile, maybe you have an angel child who sits quietly and calmly in the cart while you look. Or maybe you've got a minion who is no longer in the same isle as a matter of seconds! Whatever the case may be let me offer you this scenario:

This is my truth because I literally just did this today...and I feel awful. And guilty as heck. And selfish to boot.

I took my kid to get a haircut...too bad I didn't read the fine print on my coupon because they closed at 6 Now what?? Well the husband suggests the park since my son has WAY too much energy and was inflicting havoc in the house. So to the park we went! I set down my phone, keys and water on the play equipment and we played! It was glorious because it was just the 2 of us! Usually the baby tags along but he stayed home with dad. YAY!

After a few rounds on the slide I checked to see the time, and then also had an Instagram update. Well it's just one finger click away and BAM I'm reading a post...that leads to scrolling...that leads to this person, and that person and some other person I don't know. It's really crazy how the rabbit hole goes.

I stumble upon a post from a friend about how her daughter passed away a few years ago. Tear-jerker in the park. Can you even imagine this if you haven't gone through it already?? A truly awful and sad thing to read. It's almost too difficult to stomach.

I don't know what happened to her so I began looking through her older posts. I don't even know why but I was drawn into this poor sweet girl who was killed tragically. It makes your heart hurt for them. And you begin to wonder how in the world do they go on? How do you grieve the loss of a child and give attention the ones you still have? How do you wake up and drink your coffee? How long does it take to not be overcome with sadness and grief....What if it was MY child? How would I even live if something happened to my sweet boy??

OH MY FREAKING GOSH I'm at the park with my kid RIGHT NOW and just wasted...what? 5 Minutes with him?? How long was I really even looking at my phone? What did I miss? How many times did he call my name and I didn't hear him? Did he do something absolutely adorable and I completely bombed it by being sucked in to my phone? YES. I missed it. 5 minutes of his precious life. 5 minutes that I'm POSITIVE that family would have given the world for just to be with their daughter. Geeze I suck. Like really suck a lot right now. 

I know people will say it's their time alone while their kids play, you've been with them all day, I just need some me time. This is the only time I have to look at my phone. There's so many reasons that we justify as to why we do this.

Well shoot, I almost got all the me time I could have ever wanted. My son almost died when he was born. He almost died the few weeks after he was born and then continued to fight for life even longer after that. What could possibly be more important than enjoying even the most annoying parts of your kids life? Don't get me wrong sometimes they drive me totally INSANE but I wouldn't trade even the biggest temper tantrum he's thrown for anything. Can you even imagine not being with your kid anymore? Suddenly and unexpectedly?

Let's put down our phones when the kids are around. At least give it a shot? Think about all those parents who are missing the moments we are taking for granted. It actually makes me sick a little bit to think that way...but we've let social media and the internet in general grab a hold of what we think is I guess to ponder...what's important? Is there a better time to check your phone stuff? I'm sure we can find time...I know I will.